• Nancy

Is this how you are feeling these days?

Is this how you are feeling these days?


Me too, you are not alone. Inside my head it’s the great debate:


Let’s talk about BEING WHO YOU ARE, with all your imperfections and little quirks. I am sure we have all done the homework of writing out our strengths and weaknesses, however, those strengths and weaknesses is how we perceive ourselves. How we perceive ourselves has been programmed for many, many years. Is it time for a new pair of glasses? Are we courageous enough to really take an inventory of ourselves? And what about those behaviours we are unaware, the 95% that runs on automatic through our unconscious mind. So let’s start from a different perspective.

DO YOU LIKE YOURSELF? Are there parts of your personality that you totally accept without judgment? Make a list. Put it in writing. The latest and greatest tool out there is tapping or EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) where you end each session with “I totally love and accept myself.” How is that working out for you? I could be tapping away standing inside a crystal grid in my Feng Shui arranged home with clarity incense burning and still be operating from old programs. You know what they say, “Love yourself before you can love others!” Therein lies the dilemma. It all comes from within, your rooted belief systems and most of them are cleverly hidden away. Perhaps a clairvoyant psychic medium could help uncover them. I have a huge 5 inch binder full of astrology and numerology info but that knowledge doesn’t help me change.

The wisdom of the ages doesn’t help either, it just confuses me more. I now have many, many life experiences under my belt so you would think that with that much knowledge of life’s lessons, I would have a REAL clear vision of my future..All I see is fog, fuzzy wuzzy fog.

Being retired and out of the main stream of life for a little over a year I find the only one I can bounce these ideas off is Toby, and he is my dog. He is a great listener but not much in the feedback department.

Long walks on the beach and conversations with God don’t seem to be helping either. I listen but all I hear are the waves, which by the way are very soothing and therapeutic.

Deep meditation usually finds me sound asleep with an hour of precious time gone, just gone. No spiritual insights, or mystical guides have appeared yet. Still waiting….

And how about synchronicity, go with the flow, let life happen, let go and let God. Still waiting but seem I am unable to hold my breath that long without turning blue.

Oh yeah, speaking about Blue, how about those Blue Avians that have come to help the human race clean up the mess we have made of mother earth. Mother Earth seems to be rocking and rolling and getting ready to shake us off her surface like fleas on a dog.

BUT the sun is still shining and along comes the next part of the great debate…rewiring your brain. Drugs could certainly help but I don’t think they are long lasting. Ah, I know, hypnosis. Tried that and whatever is blocking me, which I am coming to believe is my destiny or soul contract. I would just like to have a discussion with my soul to rewrite my soul contract because this ain’t working out too well for me.

Let’s try being authentic…whatever that means because to be authentic don’t I need to know WHO I AM first??? This karmic spiral is starting to make me real dizzy.

POSITIVIE, POSITIVE, POSITIVE thoughts. YES, YES, I LOVE LIFE just wish it would get a teeny bit better. Somewhere in this profound experience my spirit is having in this human body, being in this world, not of this world, I have lost my naïve and innocent mojo.

Which brings me to FORGIVENESS. There are some choices I made in my life that I am not too proud of. We will slide into the Ho’oponopono prayer –“I’m sorry, please forgive me, Thank you, I love you! Let’s get real here, I am TRYING to love you. Let’s dash off and do some mirror work and look deep into our eyes and repeat after me…I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU. Kinda make me cross eyed if I do it too long. But then my small mind decides why not try and see my aura while I am staring in the mirror…I think I see it…

I get the science behind re-wiring the brain. My obstacle is having a future vision of the person I want to be..and I still don’t know who that is.

I will keep you posted as I continue to seek answers and would delight in having you share your thoughts…still waiting.


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